1. Introduction
Online dating can feel like an emotional rollercoaster—a thrill ride of excitement and hope, and sometimes, disappointment. If you’ve been swiping, chatting, and dating, it’s no wonder you might be fed up. If you’re starting to wonder if it’s worth it, maybe you have thought about quitting altogether. And, you certainly wouldn’t be alone! Many people share these same questions and, truly, the same struggles in this brave new world of digital dating.
But the thing is, online dating can be a journey that will require patience and perseverance. While it can be easy to dwell on the mishaps, there are many reasons to stay the course. This blog post will act as friendly encouragement in reminding you not to give up on online dating (yet). Whether you’re new to the online dating arena or simply are a veteran, you’ll be inspired with reminders, helpful tips, and encouragement so that you can, at the very least, leave no stone unturned and make the best of your experience.
2. The Common Challenges of Online Dating
Online dating isn’t always the fairy tale it is supposed to be. Most people are going to experience similar speed bumps, which can make the whole process feel less than rewarding. It can be helpful to understand that several common challenges are disheartening to most of us, therefore making you feel less isolated in the experience (and better equipped to deal with them).
Ghosting and Mixed Signals
The phenomenon that frustrates online daters the most is ghosting. It’s a sad way to end a hopeful connection when someone disappears without a word or a reason. Ghosting can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and questioning what went wrong. Alongside ghosting, there are mixed signals. You may chat with someone for days or even weeks, but on some days they seem interested in you while on others they feel distant. These ups and downs can lead to emotional fatigue, just remember mixed signals and ghosting are all part of the online dating game, and very rarely a reflection of you as a person
Choices Overload & Decision Fatigue
You may also be overwhelmed by the seemingly endless array of profiles and dates you have experienced. Even with a dating app as an opportunity for connection, people may still find it easy to experience decision fatigue regarding whom to spend time with and commit to exclusively. You may feel fatigued and tired of the dating/courting process. It can become a process associated with annoyance or frustration, instead of an experience that is meant to be enjoyable.
Burnout and the Emotional Roller Coaster
Repeated disappointments – bad dates, shallow conversations, no chemistry – can lead to feelings of burnout. You may feel lost and cynical, or have little motivation to date. The emotional roller coaster of dating, with its extreme highs and lows, leaves all of us out of sorts sometimes. Don’t feel bad if you need a break or an alternative strategy rather than just giving up.
These are common experiences, and not the end of the online dating experience for you. The next section discusses how sticking it out to get past the frustrating bit sometimes just requires patience.
3. Why Persistence is important
We all become discouraged when online dating doesn’t yield results right away, but persistence is often the ingredient that makes a difference. Here are a few reasons why persistence is important:
Increased likelihood of finding the right fit
The more you stick with online dating, the chances of you randomly meeting someone you “click” with grow, especially if you are persistent on multiple apps. With each message, match, or date, you learn more about what you want and what’s important to you, and who you connect with. Finding love takes time, and online dating is no exception.
Personal Growth – Includes learning about yourself
Dating changes as we change and grow in life. Just as online dating is about connecting with a potential partner, it’s also about personal growth and self-discovery. Online dating helps you find what (a) you want for yourself, and (b) what you’re willing to advocate for. Your growth will give you more confidence going into connecting with that person.
The dating pool is always changing
Because people are constantly joining and leaving dating apps, the “pool” is always changing. Someone who wasn’t available or was maybe not meant for you a month ago can be a good fit today. Staying active keeps you in the game and ultimately increases your chances of meeting new people.
4. Practical Suggestions to Help You Stay Motivated and Improve Your Experience
Staying positive and proactive in the online dating world can help you tremendously with your experience. Here are some practical suggestions to help you stay motivated and get better results:
Periodically Update Your Profile
Your profile is your first impression, so you want to keep it fresh. If your photos are old, freshen them to genuinely represent yourself with recent, higher quality photos with some personality. Rewrite your bio every so often and include your interests and what you are looking for in a relationship. A well-constructed profile will attract more authentic matches.
Try Different Apps and Platforms
Not all apps work for everyone. Some apps are built for casual dating. Some apps focus on long-term relationships. Some have communities. There is nothing wrong with exploring only the platforms that capture your style and goals. Change can often bring energy.
Have Realistic Expectations
At the core, online dating is about meeting people and exploring connections, not about being perfect, falling in love, or expecting to be perfect. Remain open, and don’t get disheartened as dating comes with ups and downs. Try to enjoy the process and learn about yourself and others.
Take Breaks When You Need To
If you find you do not feel good or are “burnt out” with the dating environment, you are free to take a break. Walking away from dating for a few days or weeks can give you a chance to recharge and prepare to go back with a different mindset. Just don’t quit altogether, especially if you still have hope of finding someone.
Be Safe and Follow Your Instincts
You always need to remember to be safe. When meeting someone new, always meet in public. Share your plans with a friend. Follow your gut. If your gut tells you something is off, terminate the conversation or date. Being cautious can help you remain confident and secure.
5. Conclusion and Encouragement
I know that online dating can seem like an uphill battle at times with lots of ups and downs; however, if you throw in your towel too soon, you could be throwing away something very valuable. Remember, each date, message, and swipe on an app is one step closer to finding what you are looking for. With awareness of the most common challenges, persistence, and some practical tips in applying, you can set yourself up to have a successful online dating experience that is fulfilling for you instead of exhausting. So, take it easy, think positively, and above all, realize that the right person might be, quite literally, a swipe away.
Have you had your own online dating experience, success or struggle? If so, please feel free to share in the comments, as your experience may influence someone else.
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